I don't even know how to start this I had my boyfriend for 4 years now and he's nine years older than me (i'm F 17 he's a 26M) and we're on a LDR.. Well i live in a country where the woman isn't allowed to have a boyfriend or like hangout that much (everyone is insanely strict in here) But i still manage to meet my boyfriend prolly like once every two months Now the thing is we had two times when we just stayed in his car.. Watching a movie or just enjoying each other's presence But.. He kept acting off (as i said we never had s'ex) but he still tries to touch me.. The first time i kept trying to act as if it's okey to do so because i didn't want him to feel unwanted But the second time (another date) i said no but he didn't even listen He made me go down on him... Came... And left me like that I still feel bad.. And mad about it This happened 2 weeks ago.. But his behaviour is making me feel not enough for like the last six months... And it's soo bad cuz i really love him... And i try to everything to make him feel loved.. But still he just doesn't even reassure me or make me feel loved like he used to do when we just met He keeps saying sorry for leaving me on deliverd for hours then he says he's tired and goes to sleep.. I have an anxious attachment so this doesn't help at all.. I just feel unloved and unworthy of love cuz he keeps on treating me as if m not even an important thing in his life But the thing that happened two weeks ago (which i talked about earlier) just made me feel waaay worse and i didn't even talk to him about... I feel lusted for.. Not loved.. I feel bad.. Mad.. And every othe emotion that makes me listen to my sad playlist kn repeat and keep crying about... WHAT SHOULD I DO? (im algrian btw)

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