no friends

I just want to talk . I dont have friends or anyone to talk. I have many bad feelings and i dont know how i fix my problems. I dont know how people see me like a bad person or a weak person that can make me alone.

I don't feel I'm a part of this society anymore, it's been 6 years and i never made a friend on it , I started working at young age where it's kinda hard for me to meet pp my age, I can't remember the good times I had with my self and I can't even tell if the things that happened to me are real or I'm just imagine things ,I should accept god plans and that's what I'm trying to do , it's just sometimes I wished pp cared like I did for them !

Here they are again, Holidays reveal ur loneliness, no life without exams studying,no one to turn to, no one to choose u, no one cares about u. Ur just thinking of who of them to talk to but u just feel u have no place or right to talk to somebody. Know that I'm not thier favorite but wish to, did everything to reach that place, but at the end no one to turn to, no one to escape to, no one to reveal ur real one to.

Even before I was born, my father remarried. He has a 1-year-old son from that marriage. People say a daughter is her father's fairy but my story is nothing like that. After I was born, my stepmother didn't let my father come near me. He never came to me. When I was 5 years old, my father betrayed us — he threw me, my mother, and my siblings out of the house. We had to move to another city. Then my mother died when I was 10. I loved her so much. After she left, I went into shock. I used to be a very good student I used to get top positions. Now I feel like a loser. I have only spoken to my father 2 or 3 times in my life. He always praises my stepmother's children and looks at me like a loser. He thinks I can't do anything. That I will never succeed. There was a time when I was a good student a sharp mind. Then my mother passed away. I got stuck. There was a complete downfall. In school, teachers started scolding me. I couldn't take it anymore. I left school. Now I feel like a loser. I can't remember things properly anymore. I have memory issues. I can't keep things in my mind. I can't remember moments with people. I forget a lot. Trying to remember gives me severe headaches. I don't have a single friend. And I've only shared a small part of my story here. Someone please help me. I am living in so much anxiety."