rural vs city Real Stories - 1 Experiences, Advice & Support

Avocado_79710 🇩🇿

1 month ago

Feeling Lost

i have someone in my mind we’ve never met we like each other we talk online he lives 300km away he gets me a lot and likes me a lot also and we’re very emotionally connected but the place that he lives in , i’am not sure they say it’s like a rural place and iam used to live in the city also he

Going through circles, overthinking everything rn

hey hope ur doing good well im not im going through Circles im overthinking too much I have a lot of family problems extra but I dont really care about them . yes they do effect slowly sometimes I crash out sometimes I cry and that's rarely happens my dad used to hit me and say bad things to me when I was young like 5 till not and im 15 also my grandma she said man don't cry now I cant express my feelings the normal way today I felt soo bad cuz I think everyday that im a useless person I want to be better I want Money to buy clothes and perfume I want to take care of my self and look good its not necessary but the fact that I cant even buy clothes because we don't have money kinda hurts . well I have a lot of clothes but non of them are mine some neighbours and family members I dont have a problem with it actually I like that I get beautiful free clothes but I cant buck what I dont have I also need Money for food cuz I love calisthenics and running and basketball but I only train a little cuz I dont have a reason to u dont even have a reason to live except my mom that would cry if I die she doesn't understand me at all and doesn't help whatsoever but I still love her I also want my own room I dont have brothers I share the room with my 2 sisters I want my personal room to be cool a pc gamer not like my shity pc that can't even run minecraft properly and a calisthenics equipment and a place for my electric stuff I love electronics soo much and robotics I want to learn them soo badly but I cant I dont think because im lazy it's just lack of support no one really care about me I love doing many stuff like playing chess solving rubik's cube (my record is 38seconds :3 ) I have an addiction its gooning I didn't do it for 2 months im kinda proud of my self but not really because I've been doing it for 2 years and watching porn and talking to bitches online I was doing it like 5 to 10 times a day last summer it got to the point that i dont feel bad after doing it I also didn't pray for a wile thats bad I think my addiction did something bad to me idk if I should go to the doctor every time I pee cum comes out I dont even touch my pee pee and it goes out I think my balls work more then normal ppl im not pervert actually I just realised that I also have a crush on a cute short beautiful girl she's kinda weird just like the way I like im obsession with her but sadly she loves another person even tho I see her looking at me a lot in class and talk to me nicely in dm but she loves another guy like I said im an overthinker I always imagine hugging her or aging with her or just talking to her because I never talked to her in class before only in Instagram she knows that she's my crush I told her I told her a little bit of how I think I said that im scared if u get mad at me when I think about us together and a lot of stuff its bad that she doesn't like me but good because we won't be in a haram relationship I have a gf before she's 5 years older she's 20 now she made my life better soo much and now after I broke up with her because I didn't want haram I have a big gap my feelings are fucked I wsnt to be with her soo badly I never met her I never talked to somone near me only online i dont know how to talk im shy my mind is full with stupid thoughts I dont really study it doesn't effect me and my grades I want to get married now that's the only halal way to fill my gap and my lack of love and support I prefer older women probably because they understand and treats me better just like my ex maybe ill have a nother girlfriend if I make sure she will marry me maybe idk anyway if u made it here thx for reading soo much I dont even remember all the things I typed hope u didn't love u and bbye ...see more

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Overthinking my friend's depression, can't sleep

I couldn't sleep and now i'm gonna sleep less then 3hours. I started overthinking so badly about losing my friend. She has very bad depression and i also don't have the best mental health and it just pulls me, my energy down so bad, i'm so worried and i'm the type of person that i have to help, save them from bad and the fact that i can't makes me go mad. Ever since i befriended her and she started to mean so much to me i started to fear she does something bad to herself, now that she tires to unalive herself and it drives me crazy overthinking it all, constantly thinking about her trying to attempt. I don't fully know ab these kind of things as i know her for 10month and i'm just probably very much overthinking it all. I really care about her and all i want is to help her even a little bit where i can(even tho i make the worst decisions) and i also hate(but somewhere also can understand) the fact that she lies to me about things like if i ask her about her health and stuff and it just doesn't help my trust issues, bc of these i really don't trust her and just overthink more, like when i ask her something i assume her answer is a lie. I'm also at bad at some things but i just can't get myself to tell her how i really feel and what bothers me and stuff:/ I don't consider myself depressed but i also had suicidal toughts and stuff and it came back(i couldn't get myself to do it tho i think) ever since i met her, tho i can't blame her as i'm very glad i met her, i just wish she had a better life that she deserves. *sorry if it's too weird or childish os something and also sorry for my bad english* ...see more

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