hate myself

Idk what to do today is the worst day of my life, and i hate that i know that well . I also hate that I'm still getting affected by this. I thought i rly won't care anymore. But unfortunately, i care . I thought i moved on and buried it forever. Idk to say details, but it's like meeting a truama again feels like I'm at the exact same moment. And I'm acting exactly like a child. i can't stop crying. i hate that do much . I didn't change anything like i promised myself I'm still that weak child i hate my life . I wish i was never born, as he told me . He was right .

I hate myself. My father is yelling at me. He's saying that I didn't do anything, that i can only lie here like piece of garbage and do nothing. He's saying that he didn't deserve such an insult from me. He's absolutely right. He repeats my own thoughts. I don't want to see what's next anymore. I want to give up. I refuse to continue this. I don't want to achieve anything anymore, I just want to live one day without wanting to kill myself. I'm so sorry for people reading this. Im wasting your time. You don't have to answer me. You should probably ignore this. I just have nowhere else to go. Sorry.