I couldn't sleep and now i'm gonna sleep less then 3hours. I started overthinking so badly about losing my friend. She has very bad depression and i also don't have the best mental health and it just pulls me, my energy down so bad, i'm so worried and i'm the type of person that i have to help, save them from bad and the fact that i can't makes me go mad. Ever since i befriended her and she started to mean so much to me i started to fear she does something bad to herself, now that she tires to unalive herself and it drives me crazy overthinking it all, constantly thinking about her trying to attempt. I don't fully know ab these kind of things as i know her for 10month and i'm just probably very much overthinking it all. I really care about her and all i want is to help her even a little bit where i can(even tho i make the worst decisions) and i also hate(but somewhere also can understand) the fact that she lies to me about things like if i ask her about her health and stuff and it just doesn't help my trust issues, bc of these i really don't trust her and just overthink more, like when i ask her something i assume her answer is a lie. I'm also at bad at some things but i just can't get myself to tell her how i really feel and what bothers me and stuff:/ I don't consider myself depressed but i also had suicidal toughts and stuff and it came back(i couldn't get myself to do it tho i think) ever since i met her, tho i can't blame her as i'm very glad i met her, i just wish she had a better life that she deserves. *sorry if it's too weird or childish os something and also sorry for my bad english*

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