how sad is it that I spent a long time in friends with benefits relationships when I wasn’t really benefiting if you understand what I mean..and then realized because it kept the other person interested in me and wanting to talk to me long enough and when I didnt want to do “it” they would beg and coerce me into saying yes and in my head it starts as I will just do X its so small and simple and then Y becomes small and simple and then Z and then I end up doing everything I didn’t want to do and I couldn’t not give them something because I wanted to still keep them but in reality I didn’t want any of the stuff that happened at all the sad part is I wasn’t even looking for a relationship I was just looking for companionship and that’s the only way I knew how to get it