emotional pain

Okay, I'll start... I never loved, and even if I did, I'd move on. I could forget by doing other things... But this time it became difficult for me to forget that person's image... I thought it would last three months and then disappear... now it's worse... I tried forgetting him and doing other things... I'm afraid I won't be able to forget him... I feel stupid for loving him...I don't know if he knows... but my actions betray me every time I see him... I want to lose him... I don't want to love him. There are so many logical reasons why we can't be together... I thought this would make me happy and make it easier to forget him... but it seems to be the worst thing... I see him in my dreams everywhere... like a madwoman... But I decided to overcome these feelings, stop looking at him, and withdraw. I know it hurts, and it still hurts so much that I cry nonstop... not out of love for him, but out of despair with myself.

Update i tried again to get her too look at his green flags she told me she will press charges on him if she sees us talking in any way, she screamed in my face and told me i have no common sense and that i apparently find joy in hurting people told me theres no way out that im going to counseling is trusting people shes never met over me make me bawl and now wants to act like were friends im so done i cant even. 16 years of being the “responsible” “perfect” child and its all nothing when push comes to shove.. im so tired of all of this. I hate her and myself. I had to cut him out of my life completely to keep him out of trouble. I hate myself for hurting him when hes already going through so much. If i knew this would happen i would have never gotten with him in the first place. I dont know anymore i just hurt.

Is it normal that when i return home after a really normal day after i had fun with my friends and nothing bad happened, i have severe anxiety attacks and feel like i'm gonna die and my heart's racing so hard and i can't breathe, i feel like i wanna cry and my body refuses to let the tears down And i physically and mentally can't take it anymore because that feeling of fear of dying is real and it hurts so bad, and i feel like wanna die and end it already (I'm not thinking about suicide) but it's like i want this thing to stop and idk what to do about it

Hi, this is my first time using this app, and I'm hoping for some advices or literally anything. I'm a high performance athlete and i feel like my parents and coach want too much from me and I can't give the desired results. I always try my best. It doesn't matter how much i train I get worse, but they want more and more. They only want the medals and just ignore the fact that I feel exhausted emotionally and physically. I know sports are a big roller-coaster but it's just hard. I been doing it for many years but this is different, i have really bad thoughts and i realized i torture myself. I always think that i can't do it. When i talk about this to my parents they just joke about it, f**ing laugh at me...like some little kids. They say i just want attention. I feel lost, like a fool...

Hey , so I'm new here i kind of need some new friends coz I'm dealing with depression and just got hurt by my best friend because of her bf and it was my biggest heartbreak ngl Idi what im saying this i feel like I'm seeking attention while I'm not anyway if you ever need a new friend , thanks

Ive not had my mother for 9 years now but ive always loved her and for some reason always belifed anything she says is the truth even though it never is.. i usued to wait at the door when she said she was coming to get me and refuse to move an inch with my bag packed beside me till i fell asleep, and she would always leave us no matter what she promised when we woke up she would be gone and i thought it would change because its my monma afterall until one day she decided to leave for good not that i knew that at the time but i fought kicked and screamed for her to stay all i wanted was for her to be with me i didnt care she was an adict i didnt mind that she wasnt with my dad i didnt care if she cooked bad or that she always lied or that she had no teeth i just wanted her to stay.. i never shook that feeling and i don’t understand what this feeling is because i know she did so much to hurt me and my siblings and my dad but i cant help but sit and cry because i miss her and i dont know why i miss someone who never chooses me someone who has hurt me more than everyone else… i dont know what this weight on my chest is but it makes it so hard to breath and i dont know how to fix it..

Hy everyone wish thst ur all okay I just have a problem that my parents prefer their families which means parents and sblings more than me and I didn't feel okay I fell sad 😢 any help I'll be so grateful if u help me and give me advices