what if we never drifted? what if they never made that groupchat without me, never talked shit behind my back, never looked down on me like this? What if they stayed and i had one stable thing in my life? maybe things wouldve been different, i wouldnt have lost my confidence like this, never gotten this weak, i feel stupid that teenage girls drama that im supposed to just move on from easily affected me so deeply but i gave them so much love and my whole heart and i was met with this? Just made me hate myself more to the point i just dont want to live anymore not because i want them back but they affected my self esteem in a way i cant fix, the suicidal thoughts have not left me for years, and its so exhausting

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