emotional struggle

I have prblm that I don't like seeing or talking to ma dad even his existence is annoying I don't hate him but whenever I see him I become an aggressive person unlike when he's not around me I become very quiet person

i don't know where to start and what to talk about its like there is a lot of problems and there none at the same time somtimes i'm thinking why am i depressed for what yes i know i'm always harsh on myself i always blame me for everything even if its not my faulte apologizing every single time just to keep things calm and the worst idea that gets me every night is WHO IS GONNA LIKE AN UGLY BORING UNSOCIAL GUY LIKE ME

Im feeling sooo soooooooo lonely in my life like everyone like me because i have too many talents but no one loves me it's crazy how people only like me, and my second problem is sleeping, i have sharp insomnia apnd it drives me crazy