I just want to get everything out of my chest. So maybe my speech will be a little bit not organized, but I just need to talk. So I'm in my second year of college. My first year of college was absolutely hard. I can't even describe how hard was it. I moved from my house. I was responsible for everything all at once after being in college. spoiled my whole life it was just it was just hard for me mentally I really don't like don't even like to think about it whatever so my grades was not the best and it was really hard on me whatever this year which is the second year at the beginning of this year I was like I have to to start a new beginning. I have to actually work harder. I have to like study and I have to, you know, take care of my study and stuff. And then I studied actually hard and I was like, I would sleep three hours a day and I would study every single hour because I want to get a good grade to feel good about myself again. Because I don't like the fact that my grades are just so low it's not me so I I started to work hard but and then after the results of the first semester came out I found out that I got an F and it was an absolute heartbreak because I genuinely thought that I'm I'm going to get an A-plus or something. So I, until now, until this moment that I'm saying this, I still can't believe it. I don't believe that these are my grades. Because I worked so hard and I'm really sure about my answers. It really broke me. It really made me feel like a failure. Like, at least at the first year, I was like, I wasn't even studying. so the results was making sense but the second year i tried so hard i still didn't get anything i get an f and it makes me feel sometimes that what is the point of trying if this is gonna be the results it makes me feel like a failure i don't want to feel like this because i know that i can if i try it even harder but it's just so tiring before when i was at school when i was at high school or anything at least when i try i would get something but now no matter how much i try i don't know like is this is not my place or something my i know that nothing makes sense from whatever i'm saying it's a little bit unorganized but i needed to talk i just really am waiting for the second that i would feel like a successful girl again and I'm really waiting for the second that I would feel confident again and feel better in general it's really have been hard yeah that's it