I really don't know what to say, but I'm so tired, to be honest, and I don't know what am I going to do. I'm really thinking about suicidal thoughts, and like I'm having those thoughts, I don't know. And I really don't want to live anymore. It's not because I'm going through something like you imagine but i don't know i can't understand it either but like it's related to my studies my mental health like i can't feel like i can't even study because of these thoughts and just to let you know that i failed i get a year like the most was important year where i should like get a good grade to go to uni well i didn't which is black you know yeah because many elders aren't gonna be here and many like we are all arab anyway but anyway like i really am so tired to be honest i don't know what to do i really need to focus i i really need to do my best but i know i will fail and i don't know what was like my reaction at that time i'm scared and i don't want to feel that which is leading me to those thoughts of like yeah i should just end it all and i was like i like i reached a point where i was like like, searching for ways to literally suicide, like, come on, like, to that point, but whatever, I don't want anyone in my house to hear about this, but it's really, really bad, I never thought that would reach this point, where I feel like this, where I want to do like this, because I'm such an intelligent person, I'm such a smart person, and i'm a dreamer and i want a lot of things in this life and the fact that i'm like this right now is really hurting me i wish i was a person that never studied that doesn't care about anything that doesn't want anything because that would be very fine for them but it's not but trust me i don't know what to say right now because i'm literally crying and i just can't talk if people hear i'm gonna go tell me go to a therapist i'll tell you i can't go to the therapist not because there's no therapist or i don't have money for therapist that's because i can't tell my family that i need to go to a therapist because for them they think that i'm good my mental health is good and yeah so that's the thing anyway that's i don't know ask me questions anything so I would talk about it in the next voice message